Tuesday, January 11, 2022

22 resolutions for 2022


Be generous in your self care

Perfect the jokes that delight you and only you

As you fake it 'til you make it, stay vulnerable

Set your goals then take the day off

Simulate sincerity when needed

Never steal anything under $50,000

Don't tell anyone that you think king cake is an overrated foodstuff

Frame your doppelgänger for a crime, and do a podcast about it

Make plans, but only to amuse the gods

Use your virtues opportunistically

Convince the doctor that you're healthy enough to make it to the end times

Ironically misuse the word "irony"

Fuse optimism and nihilism without scaring anybody

Embrace the authenticity in your imposter syndrome

Remember that exercising patience counts as hitting a fitness target

Be strategic in your honesty, but don't go into law

Eat modest portions, repeatedly

Whenever a business person says "bandwidth," say "I think you meant 'bandsaw'"

Practice being genuine until it's second nature

Forge ahead, in regards to signatures

Be your best self on social media

Get the recipe for those almond cookies you enjoyed at that holiday party

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Be truthful, be niece, be positive. Don't feel obligated to be funny-- leave that to the professionals!!